Housemates

Due to the economy and it's general sucky-ness, Master and I now have friends who are in the process of moving in with U/us. Honestly, I thought it was going to be ok... I thought I was going to take this relatively well. I mean, thinking about it logically, these are people who used to come over every other weekend and W/we would all hang out. It never seemed like it would be a bad thing because W/we all got along so well, but to be completely honest with myself, I'm not taking it too terribly well. I'm trying not to let it show and make a big fuss or deal about it, but it's changing my entire routine... my entire structure... and I do NOT deal well with change.

I feel so put-out. I'm really trying so hard not to be so down and out about it all... it really is for the best (financially speaking). However, the very little "alone" time Master and I had before has gotten to be even less. And with Master being laid off (since the beginning of last week... oh so wonderful), money is even tighter and W/we need this even more than W/we did before. I'm just not sure how to approach everything.

Personally, I find myself to be more moody and much more clingy than I was before W/we had housemates. I need the physical contact... the reassurance that this is still my home and that "nothing is going to change," so to speak. I've felt so horrible lately, that I'm finding it difficult to motivate myself to do anything... cooking, cleaning, organizing. The thing is, I NEED to do it and do it quick. W/we live in a small house already, and adding 3 more people is just making it seem even smaller.

Don't get me wrong, I love O/our friends, I just... I just don't know what to do with myself. I feel so lost and confused and alone (even though there is at least one person around me at all times). I need Master now more than ever. I need the structure and stability... the comfort and love... the firm, yet gentle, hand... that He provides. I'm floundering in a sea wrecked by a storm, and I feel as though I am drowning. I'm having nightmares... I can't sleep... and I feel like crying every single time something happens.

I just don't know what to do with myself anymore.

<3 Master's lil one, Jade

Vacation

Well, I'm back from vacation.

I had fun at my mama's house... but seriously, I need a vacation from my vacation. lol I guess that's how it usually goes though. Really, I miss my mama and I love her dearly, but at the same time, I can only take her in small quantities. It was absolutely insane with my mama, her fiance, my 4 younger sisters and brother, Master and His 5 year old son.

Honestly, I'm glad to be home, but I do already miss my mama (and my sisters and brother).

<3 Master's lil one, Jade

HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!

Today is Master's birthday!!

I asked Master last night if there was anything special He wanted to do today, but He said no. So, W/we really don't have any plans for today except for to hang out at the house and relax. Well, I have some things I have to do today, but I have a feeling Master will want to stay home instead of come along... which is just peachy with me cuz it's His special day!

In other news, things are going well. Currently, W/we have some friend's moving in with U/us... which is going to make living quarters tight, but it's workable. It's a lot of work and I'm officially beyond exhausted. With work and helping with the move from their old place to O/our place, there has been little down-time and sleeping. lol

I think I shall go spend a bit of time with Master before all the little ones wake up and start with the excessive noise that they seem to continually make. lol

<3 Master's lil one, Jade