Beyond...

So, life is beyond crazy right now... beyond hectic... beyond insane.

I am now back in school full-time to get my MSW (Master's of Social Work). I started a little over 2 weeks ago, and homework is officially eating my soul. I have so much reading to do it's ridiculous... on top of paper's... on top of discussion boards (the class is half online, half face-to-face)... on top of quizzes... on top of projects/presentations... and I think you get the point.

I'm working 2 jobs and going to school full-time...

Yeah, I have NO life. /sigh

Other than being so insanly busy, everything else is going alright. Master and I are getting on pretty well... He's been a HUGE help ever since I started back at school. I really can't complain at how much He's taken on and how much He's doing without me even having to ask for help. It's been sweet... especially since I'm falling asleep as I'm laying my head on the pillow most nights.

Speaking of which... my eyes are trying to glue themselves shut right now. So, it's off to bed for me.

<3 Master's lil one, Jade

Master's Song

"Whataya Want from Me" Adam Lambert

Hey, slow it down
Whataya want from me
Whataya want from me

Yeah, I'm afraid
Whataya want from me
Whataya want from me

There might have been a time that I would give myself away
Oooh once upon a time I didn't give a damn
But now, here we are
So whataya want from me
Whataya want from me

Just don't give up, I'm workin it out
Please don't give in, I won't let you down
It messed me up, need a second to breathe
Just keep coming around
Hey, whataya want from me
Whataya want from me
Whataya want from me

Yeah, it's plain to see
That baby you're beautiful
And it's nothing wrong with you
It's me, I'm a freak
But thanks for lovin' me
Cause you're doing it perfectly

There might have been a time
When I would let you slip away
I wouldn't even try
But I think you could save my life

Just don't give up,I'm workin' it out
Please don't give in, I won't let you down
It messed me up, need a second to breathe
Just keep comin around
Hey, whataya want from me
Whataya want from me

Just don't give up on me
I won't let you down
No, I won't let you down

Just don't give up, I'm workin it out
Please don't give in, I won't let you down
It messed me up, need a second to breathe
Just keep coming around
Hey, whataya want from me

Just don't give up, I'm workin' it out
Please don't give in, I won't let you down
It messed me up, need a second to breathe
Just keep coming around
Hey, whataya want from me
Whataya want from me
Whataya want from me

**This is the song that I have dubbed as "Master's Song" due to the fact that W/we are currently going through a lot of stuff right now... and I can hear these lyrics (maybe not exactly) running through His head. Just... keep U/us in your prayers/thoughts/ hearts/minds... whatever.

<3 Master's lil one, Jade

Tick Tock... Tick... STOP

Where has the time gone?

I'm sitting here, at my computer, at 9:45 p.m. on May 2, 2010... just... thinking. Another day has come and gone and yet, I feel as though there is so much to do... so much that I have yet to accomplish. Of all the things I should have done today, I haven't gotten very much of it done. I suppose, in a way, that's a good thing. Master and I had a fantastic day with His son... and yet, I can't help but feel as though I need to be "superwoman" and do it all, even when I really didn't have the time.

Sunday's are my only day off (unless one of the kids I work with is sick or something) and I try to do 100 billion things. I have so much to do on Sunday's that I never really feel as though I get a break from working. I swear to god that I even work in my friggin sleep sometimes! Master keeps telling me to relax a little... that He's not worried about everything right now. But when I do relax, I feel guilty... as though I'm not taking the best care of Master (and O/our home) that I am able to.

It's like... I'm a neurotic, paranoid, guilt-ridden woman who tries to relax because Master tells her He wants her to and yet cannot relax because she feels the need to work. Sometimes, I just want time to stop. I want time to take a deep breath and just stop running around like a chicken with my friggin head cut off.

In 15 days I start back to school to get my MSW. When that happens, I will be working 40+ hours per week (2 jobs), in school 10 hours a week, having Master's son on Tuesday's and every other weekend AND having homework/reading/papers/studying to do.

Apparently I am trying to commit suicide by over-working my body. Ack! Not actually, but sometimes it really seems that way. To be clear, however, Master is helping A LOT... it's just... I'm neurotic. I do think, however, that I have already covered the subject of my psychosis and self-infliced paranoia. lol

Shall we all take bets on just how much sleep I will be getting for the next year?

My wager is somewhere between very little and none! /sigh

Ya know... Life is like a box of chocolates... a little nutty, a little smooth, and a little bit of "eww this shit is naaaaaaaaaaaaaaasty."

<3 Master's lil one, Jade